Our Journey – November 2016

Through the fog of life and death

The first trip Barry and I took with our new baby girl Kelly was to Door County, Wis. It took us two days to get there, stopping to feed and diaper this new love in our lives. We also stayed in a hotel half way there. We were such novice parents with poor Kelly. I remember sitting at a fish boil in Door County with her in the high chair and Barry and I staring in awe at her every movement.

We discussed every feeding and diaper change. We somehow survived that first year and so did Kelly. Thankfully we had each other to fumble through this new chapter in our lives, parenthood.

I was back in Door County this week to teach a class and spend some days writing. But just a few hours after arriving, Barry’s care center called to tell me to get back because Barry took a turn for the worse. I decided to spend the night because it was too late to drive back. I packed up at 4 a.m. and drove home in a late autumn fog so thick I could not see the exit signs. I could hardly see the lights of the cars ahead of me. I drove slowly, praying a deer wouldn’t jump out onto the road and thinking about Barry who may be dying right now. Would I get home in time? The fact that was so foggy was the perfect metaphor for our lives. Barry was trying to find his way home and, of course, so was I. Will he find his way today? Tomorrow? Next week?
fog
We found our way as new parents so we had two more children. And we will find our way through this new phase of life and death. Barry will find his way, of that I am certain. I, too, will find my way through this thick fog of grief even though I know there will be times I am so lost that I won’t know which way is up. But sometimes being lost can be a good thing. You may end up somewhere awesome that you least suspected.

The fog finally lifted with just an hour left of my drive. I went right to see Barry who is certainly dying but holding on for now. Together, just like in parenting, we will figure out this dying thing. Although it’s just not as fun as having a new baby.

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15 comments on “Our Journey – November 2016
  1. Maryanne Coronna says:

    Live and prayers.

  2. Maryanne Coronna says:

    I meant love and prayers, but love is good too.OX

  3. Tim Moodie says:

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you, this is a tough time, but it will be for the best.

  4. Gary Walch says:

    Nancy, I am so sorry to hear this. I have very fond memories of Barry with our trips to Alpine Valley with the boys from Jefferson and our wonderful trip to Florida also with those same Jefferson kids. My love and prayers are with you and Barry and family in this very trying time. I am crushed. Hang in there. Great thoughts are being sent your way. Big Gar

  5. Christine Bekiares says:

    Your strength always shows through. Each of you will find your way. So sorry for the grief you both pass through, but it does bring back happier moments. Continue in courage.

  6. Christine Bekiares says:

    Your strength always shows through. Each of you will find your way. So sorry for the grief you both pass through, but it does bring back happier moments. Continue in courage.

  7. Karen Allbright Jones says:

    Thinking of you both with love and prayers for this next part of your great, foggy, loving life journey. If you ever want to talk you have Terry Naugle and I. Be well my friend!

  8. Nancy Paxson says:

    Thanks for sharing even through the fog! Sharing cuts pain in half, they say. (And doubles joy, when that is the case. )

  9. Kathy Klis says:

    Holding you close in our prayers.

  10. Beth-Ann Bloom says:

    Wishing you a peaceful end to this long journey the two have you have shared through so many twists and turns

  11. Nancy Carlson Wangstad says:

    Oh Nancy my heart is with you every step of the way. You and Barry and family are in my prayers. Know that I think about you all the time! Hang in there friend!

  12. Dandy says:

    Lots of love and prayers for you, Barry and the kids. I’m in awe of your strength. Love you all.

  13. Sally I. says:

    Holding all of you in my thoughts and prayers Nancy.

  14. Sally I. says:

    Holding all of you in my thoughts and prayers Nancy.

  15. Karolyn Lee says:

    Lots of love and hugs and prayers.

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