BARRY’S JOURNEY

forest head

Forest Head

Today I decided Barry and I should look at an adult daycare option. I don’t think it’s healthy for the mind or body to watch TV all day. I also have to find a way to get him to stop shopping for the same items everyday — blueberries, maple syrup, waffles and roast beef for sandwiches.

Barry was not in a good mood this morning as we drove to tour an adult daycare center. All I heard from him in the car was “F-k You,” “F-k You” over and over again until we got there. He was mad that I would not give him more money to shop. WE DON’T NEED ANY MORE WAFFLES!!!!!

But when we got there he was polite and asked questions. He met a few guys his age. Then he asked, “Where do I sleep?” He told the lady showing us around that he has dementia. It just sounded so sad. One guy there said to him, “I can’t remember anything.”  Barry responded, “Me either.”It is a nice place with lots of activities to do.  If I can get him accepted and find a way to pay for it, my worry about his being home alone all day while I work would be gone. As we left, an older gal was being dropped off. On her way in, she pointed to Barry and said, “Hey, where did this handsome guy come from?” Barry said, “I think she likes me!” We had a laugh; I knew this would be a good place for him to go a few times a week.

After the visit, Barry was just happy to be home again with his TV and blueberries. He is just beginning this next phase of his journey. I hope I can help him find his way.

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5 comments on “BARRY’S JOURNEY
  1. Joy Bennett says:

    Hi Nancy! My heart goes out to you. My dad had Alzheimer’s and my mom eventually had to put him in senior daycare. It was such a relief for her, and it gave her a break too. She was a caregiver for 7 years before he finally had to go into a nursing home. Unlike Barry, he became ill in his 70’s. I hope that this is an option for him and will hopefully give him a better outlook on life and give you some peace too.

    I am really enjoying your stories about your hikes. You are truly an inspiration! Joy

  2. Karen Robertson-Tran says:

    Nancy,
    I wonder if you can find funding from any organizations that are out there to support people with dementia? It sounds like the adult day care would be a positive option. I haven’t told you too much of my story, but my husband had a massive stroke 12 years ago due to an attack while he was driving taxi (he presents as a brain injured person). He goes to a “stroke club” for people who’ve had strokes, basically a free activity on Wednesday afternoons. He also goes to a woodworking shop 3 afternoons a week for people with mental illness (he qualifies because of depression). This is a commercial business which “hires” (really no pay) mentally ill people. It gets him out and gives him some purpose. He travels by our city’s Access A Bus service (door to door). Local mental health workers/social workers helped us to find these opportunites for him!
    Keep looking to the community for help!

  3. Elizabeth says:

    Your post made my eyes all teary-like. I’d like to blame my weepiness on having an emotional sort of day today but the journey you’ve obviously been on for a while has put my own difficulties in perspective. I admire you for the strength it takes to deal with this.

  4. Maryanne says:

    Love following you on this journey.

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